I have been asleep…

Taking a nap or...

Taking a nap… (Photo credit: unertlkm)

. . . but I have not dreamed.

Dreaming, except for nightmares, can be great fun. I can get into some real fixes and then get out just by waking up! After that, I try to figure what I must have eaten before bed, to cause such craziness in the head.

Don’t you?

“House” dreams are supposed to be about ourselves. So when I dreamed about a huge house with a flooded basement, I’m not sure I had such a great supper that night.

I much prefer the one where the staircase leads upward, to hundreds of elegantly appointed bedrooms.

My favorite dreams, I believe, are when I dream about sleeping. Mmm . . .

I also have the other type of dreams, when wide-awake, planning wonderful projects I will do next year. These dreams are haunting and therefore remind me of nightmares.

I am supposed to act on them, to perfect everything I need before I can get started. Losing weight, writing a book, finishing the afghan, unpacking the last box from moving several years ago, all fit that category. I should be making these dreams come true, but something keeps waking me up from real life, and it is not clear WHAT.

Once upon a time, I had weeding and weighing in good shape. Same for ironing. Really.

Was I simply setting a good example so my children would grow up with good habits? That’s a good modus. However, now that no one is watching me . . .

Well, the Lord is watching, right?

Once I was motivated by love for others, my little others who surrounded my skirts with neediness. I now must find motivation only in doing what is right.

I have choices. I don’t like who I see living inside this rules-bound exterior.

The last child is gone. Can I afford to do my own thing? Am I really my own puppy? Do I need to rethink?

I have slept.

It’s time to wake up.

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