Where is the place that is very near hell?
It is the apex, the place where ascent weakens to the weakest possible point, the beginning of the end, the molecule of time before the descent.
It is a place of deep sorrow and pain. It is a place of helplessness and confusion. It is a place of crushing and fainting.
Do we want to know where this is? Do we want to read about it?
It is a place of regrets and blame, of requirements and inability, of surroundings and enemies of all that matters. A place of conflicting opinion and constant flood of words. A place of never doing it right. A place of agony and of tears and of darkness.
But it is not hell.
It is only death.
We were not programmed to die. We were not created to deal with death.
We were created and intended to live, to vibrate with joy, to glow in the dark.
But we die.
But not all of us at once. We each have his own appointed time. Some of us must remain survivors and feel the loss, mourn the loss, die a thousand deaths during the loss.
And some of us must stand by and watch, very near hell.
It is a duty, a privilege, an honor, to be standing by and watching the descent, the mourning, the loss, the thousand-times death. To stand by, to help, to helplessly watch and wait, is a gift that rebounds to the giver in humble thanksgiving in the soul. To mind quietly the senseless, necessary tasks of the earthbound, standing next to the earth-ending descent, is a miracle and a reverie, nearly a trance.
To remain alive ends all words.